When I first watched Parks and Recreation, I have to admit I hated it. I gradually came around and now I just can’t get enough of those crazies running the parks department in Pawnee. The characters are brilliantly written and I just effin love it! Of the many characters, Tom Haverford, is one of my favorites. He annoyed me at first but as his character developed, he became one of the main reasons I now watch the show. He desperately wants to have the life of the rich and famous and takes his appearance very seriously. His idols include Vin Deisel and Flo Rida. Basically, he wants to kick it like P. Diddy and Jay-Z. He has crazy business ideas and makes up new sayings for everyday words, mainly food. These sayings KILL me – thus the subject of this post. I put this list of “Haverfoods” together mainly for my sister, which I should have done ages ago, and then thought I should share! If you have not seen the show, you probably won’t appreciate the following as much as I would hope but it should entertain all the same! ENJOY! xx

Desserts = Zerts
Entrees = Tray Trays
Sandwiches = Sammies, Sandoozals, Adam Sandlers
Air Conditioners = Cool Blasterz
Cakes = Big ol’ Cookies
Noodles = Long Ass Rice
Fried Chicken = Fry-Fry Chicky Chick
Chicken Parmesan = Chicky-Chicky Parm-Parm
Eggs = Pre-Birds or Future Birds
Root Beer = Super Water
Tortillas = Bean Blankies
Forks = Food Rakes
Car = Go-Go Mobile
Burgers = Moo Pies
Salads = Leaf Piles
Biscuits = Butter Boats
Crackers = Lame Cookies
Shrimp = Tiny-Ass Lobster
Espresso = Sippy Sippy Wake Wake
Pork Chops = Oink Steaks
Jell-O = Jiggle Jam
Gummy Bears = Chewy Cubs
Pajamas = Bad Mama Jamas
Gum = Chew-Chew Trains
Chips = Flat Fries
Martinis = Dean Martins
Raisins = Old Ass Grapes
Ice Cream = Milk on the Rocks
Light Beer = Funky Soda
Lemonade = LL Cool Ade
Meatball Subs = Sunken Battleships
Honey = Bear Drool
Water = Hot Ice
Spoons = Scoop-a-Loops
Milk = Cereal Sauce
Chili Dogs = Cold Puppies
Seltzer = Tickle Water
Leftovers = Deja Food
Apples = Teacher Candy
Sprinkles = Rainbow Rice for Milky Ice

I can’t wait for the new season to start!


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